Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

To “submit” means to “yield” If the word “submit” is substituted for “yield”, this verse takes a new colour. In verse 22, God starts with the weak point by giving an instruction to the wife. We must understand that we are not going to get into solutions in marriage as long as women are taking a wrong position on marriage. God says the wife should submit to her husband.

Whatever the challenge facing a marriage, if this point is adhered to, the marriage will succeed. Wives must come to a place of submission in their marriage. And every woman can do it because God will never give you a commandment in an area that you cannot perform it. In I John 5:3, we are shown that the commandments of the Lord are not grievous.

God’s commandments are always in an area where one has the capacity to obey. If wives do not have the capacity to obey an instruction, God will never give them such an order. Thus, if God says a woman should be submissive to her husband, it means she can. God never said the husband should submit to his wife, and if a man is the one submitting to his wife, he is breaking the marriage arrangement as designed by God. The instructions of God to us are very plain.

People misread submission to mean slavish subservience, which is wrong. Submission is not a position of inferiority. It is a position of equality. Note that God gave us instructions in the area where we tend to go out of line. The problem of the human race started when Eve stepped out of line. It would have made a difference today if Eve had told that serpent to wait until her husband came. The reason Eve had this problem is that Adam did not complete his assignment as the teacher of the marriage union. By being the leader, he was the one who received complete instructions.

Ephesians 5:25

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

As in the book of Malachi 2:15-18, here again, in this verse, God is speaking to husbands. God gives instructions to people in the area where they have the most tendency to go out of line. The instructions God gave to husbands and wives are key foundational principles to building a powerful home on earth. The man is commanded to “love” while the woman is commanded to “submit”. Here is a basic guide to a tension-free home: whenever there is any tension in the home: the wife yield, husband love. If married people can work this principle with themselves, they will solve most problems. And it must be observed that the two commandments are not mutually dependent on each other. God neither said the wife should submit to her husband if he loves her nor did He say the husband should love his wife if she submits. He just tells you how the submission that will make marriage work must be: “Wives, submit to your husband as the church is unto Christ in all things; husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it”.

As a husband, you can start loving your wife from the remote control; let your wife choose the channel you will watch on television and try it for one week. Then, just sit down and enjoy the program that she likes; that is when you will know what it is to love your wife. It will help you two to mesh into each other.

There are some television programmes my wife loves to watch that I do not understand why she watches them, but I still stay with her. And over time, she has learned to support football. When I used to support football teams, she would support my team. She did not know much about them, but she would say, “Your team is playing today; they will win”, even when they were losing. We must learn to obey our instructions correctly. The man is commanded to love, while the woman is commanded to yield to the husband as the head.

Till next time, go and win with Jesus.

God’s Servant,

Rev. Olusola Areogun.

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